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Personal Stuff

I wrote the following on a Tobii P10 eye gaze tracking computer that I had on loan...


Hello my name is Bram. I have a type of brain damage called Locked in Syndrome or L.I.S. For short. Although ive got brain damage I am not a mad man in a padded cell or some sort of vegetable kept alive by a life support machine. I am completely sane although some people have a very incorrect opinion of me. My brain damage only effects movement of muscles it means I cannot walk eat or speak. This stops me doing alot of things and means I cant go to alot of places but I still get board there is very little for me to do except watch the T.V. Which now I hate. It must sound like ive got an easy life but believe me I would gladly go back to work and have a normal life with all the responsibilities that go with it. I would have no problem getting a girlfriend then. I know lots of girls but they are my nurses so I cant have relationships with them. When I do meet a suitable girl I cant communicate with her and they dont stay around long enough to learn how to use my communication board. One day it is my dream to meet a suitable girl who can already communicate with me using my communication board. However recently ive been using a computer to communicate. Although computers are really clever they can only be used in certain positions I still need to use my communication board. Its a very good and fairly simple system but it will never replace my voice. I cant ever start a conversation or make a statement or comment on something with out first getting somebodys attention to use my communication board with me, and waiting while they work out what I am trying to say. A lot of the time the moment has gone or the conversation has moved on. A lot of what Ive got to say goes unspoken. I have the best conversations with the imaginary voices in my head but there is only so much you can tell your self before you send your self mad. It is a very lonely place stuck in your own head when you have remembered all your memories and your days now are so similar to each other it just seems every day is the same and impossible to create new memories. When there is nothing left what happens? I hate it if people argue with me and refuse to let me say my point of view because they know im right. it is very annoying when people take advantage of my disability, by doing things behind my back or putting me in a position which stops me from seeing what is going on around me.